John Hughes died... work didn't suck... increased my meds

[verushka70]

I'm so bummed to hear that John Hughes died. I can definitely say that some of his movies defined angst and may have inspired or at least helped fuel my angst-hound tendencies. I mean, who doesn't sympathize with Duckie (Jon Cryer) in Pretty in Pink or with Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) in Some Kind of Wonderful?

Also... worked last night. And it did not suck. Well, we had one cardiac arrest who came in that we were unable to save, although we made heroic efforts. But other than that, it was a smooth night, fast-paced enough to make the time pass quickly, but not so insanely busy that you have a zillion charts to finish when you get off the floor. I was out of there by 3:15 (officially off the floor at 3am) and at the grocery store (yes, it's 24 hrs) by 3:45am. Home by 4:30am. The cat food my cats love was still on sale at $2.99/7 lb. bag. So I bought 6!


Per the psychiatrist, who I had a social worker get ahold of (because I don't see him again until two weeks from now), I wanted to know if I should increase my meds. As of April, he'd had me dosing down because he said he thought my depression had a large seasonal component to it. Which I agree with; my mood improved substantially when I changed from a 6:30pm-7am shift to a 2:30pm-3am shift -- one where I actually see the sun in winter.

By the time my mom died at the end of June, I had dosed down to 150mg/day of bupropion (extended release) from the normal dose of 450mg/day. When I talked to the social worker after my mom died, I asked him if he thought I should continue dosing down to nothing, which was the original plan. He suggested not changing anything. Which I agreed with and seemed prudent, given what I was going through.

Well, he contacted the psychiatrist for me again last week because I told him, I just am having a lot of trouble dragging myself out of bed, and trouble sleeping (or falling asleep -- once I am asleep, I can't seem to stop), and I wasn't sure if I should keep my meds the same or not, but I've become extremely irritable which I've only recently learned from personal experience is a symptom of depression. The social worker called me back Friday and said the psychiatrist recommended I dose back up to 450mg/day of bupropion extended release. So I did.


I managed to get quite a bit of stuff done in the next few days. So apparently, that worked. Will continue. What else am I gonna do?

Comments

[lucifuge-5.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh! Yes, White Palace is quite good... but he's also really good in Secretary. And of course there is Sex, Lies and Videotape. It seems so *tame* now, compared to the stuff we can see on TV now. I remember when it was shocking! But then, it retains an eroticism other more graphic films lack... probably because it doesn't show everything.

I actually watched both WP and SLandV BEFORE I watched LTZ. Apparently, my parents objected to the drugs more than the smexin'? *shrugs* In truth, I think one of the things that I have always liked about James S. is that he does 'swarmy' in a very sexy way. Hee!

Yeah, I vaguely remember that from the book. I remember, too, that the m/m sex scenes in the book were surprisingly 'meh' for me -- and at a time when I was really getting into m/m stuff.

But the whole tone of the book is kind of a 'meh' monotone of emotionally disconnected people. Not that there is anything wrong with that; I think that's what Bret E.E. intended. And the opening line of the book stuck with me after all these years...

Never got up the nerve to read American Psycho.

Yeah, I have a feeling (from the few Bret E.E. books I've read) that he has this whole thing about completely apathetic characters either breaking down or constantly fucking up.

I did read American Psycho and was, well, equal parts confused and disturbed by Patrick Bateman (the killer). The fragmentation between the very, very, VERY detailed murders and his rambles on why Huey Lewis and The News were the shit mostly made me go 'um, okay.'

As for the movie, it was okay . . . though, like you said, Christian B. was good in it.

About the only movie based on a Bret E.E. book I've liked is The Rules of Attraction and it's not like I even own the DVD. It does have a killer soundtrack though.

[verushka70.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Spader is pretty much hot even when he's supposed to be creepy. It may be wrong, but there it is. *g*

And he was hot in Wolf, too. I never thought of myself as having a werewolf thing, but there've been a few werewolf movies I thought were pretty good. Or where the werewolves were pretty good, at least. I don't think it's the werewolf subgenre specifically but the genre of human-animal/monster transformation. I used to think it was just vampires -- and it is, primarily. But I've concluded that it's pretty much all transformation-themed concepts, as long as the transformation is into something animal and, ultimately, uncontrollable, and as long as it's executed well.

I'd forgotten about The Rules of Attraction. A friend of a friend pimped it at a party. So I eventually saw it. It actually was pretty good.

[lucifuge-5.livejournal.com]

And he was hot in Wolf, too.

OMG, he's sooo good in Wolf. I've always loved that movie and don't really understand what's the reason why it wasn't/isn't more popular.

I'd say that, up to that point, werewolves were kinda low in my radar. I was more of vampire chick growing up. ( :: points to self :: Ex-goth. What can I say?) Though, like it happens sometimes, vampires got old (pun totally intended FWIW) with very few exceptions.

As for The Rules of Attraction, it was good. The only thing that soured the movie a little for me was reading about how Ian S--er, the pretty dude that was in Lost (he played Paul in the movie) had some kind of gay panic in regards to playing a bisexual character to the point of telling everyone how uncomfortable he felt while filming the movie. How lame! >:(