verushka70

Thanks, grey. I didn't feel weird about crying at her funeral service, it was the way I was crying, I guess. I don't know, I felt like kind of a spectacle, with my brother on one arm holding me up, and my bf on the other. I'm so not that drama queen in normal life. But nothing is normal now, I guess.

So far, family/sibs have been very excellent. I guess because we all just went through this in 2005 with my dad and then in 2007 with my step-dad, we're kind of like... I don't know, war buddies, almost. This is the worst war, and we've always had that dysfunctional kind of "I can hurt my sister, but don't you dare hurt my sister!" thing going on -- although obviously that improved greatly in adulthood when we weren't all living together and after our parents divorced -- but so far, everyone's been nothing but supportive each other and we've pulled together. In fact, I think we really surprised the hell out of my mom's lawyer this afternoon; he expected us to be like most families, going, "How soon can we sell the house so I can get my money?" and instead my brother and sisters were like, "Well, Viv lives there, so we don't need to sell the house right away, we don't want to sell the house out from under her." He just seemed really floored by that... which says a lot about what he normally sees, as you've said. I guess I'm pretty lucky with the sibs I got. We've all worked really hard and with each other to overcome some shitty dynamics that started when we were kids with my dad playing favorites. I guess it must have worked. Thank god. I'm not sure I could cope with a ton of family craziness on top of her dying.

Anyways, I do appreciate your taking the time to comment. And your kind thoughts. Thank you so much.