first world problem

[verushka70]

Meant to post this Friday night but forgot...until I found it in my Drafts
folder (I sometimes post by email).

Nothing kills the suspenseful, ominous mood of streaming The Killing (or
any suspense/drama/horror/mystery, for that matter) in your living room,
all your windows open, on a beautifully cool, dark, breezy summer night...


...like an ice cream truck parked right outside for fifteen minutes at a
time -- repeatedly throughout the evening! -- playing the demented clown
music version of "Turkey In The Straw" that ice cream trucks play fucking
ENDLESSLY.

I gave up. I paused Netflix & killed time on my phone, waiting for the ice
cream truck to leave, while steam built up in my ears & I fantasized
storming outside, grabbing the ice cream man by his throat, & bashing his
face into his freezer several hundred times, ala Sergio Leone/Sam
Peckinpah/Quentin Tarentino (& in perfect sync with the rhythm of "Turkey
In The Straw", so I could ruin that music for the children the way
Reservoir Dogs ruined "Stuck in the Middle with You" for me).

The ice cream man had it coming.

I didn't do that, of course. I am a reed in the river of Life, I bend so
that I do not break...

*in 3 of the 4 buildings at the intersection where my corner building is,
live multiple children. Which is fine. I don't even mind when they play
soccer in the middle of the street &/or intersection.

But c'mon. One can only stand "Turkey in the Straw" at full volume outside
one's home so many times IN A ROW before it is officially torture.
Homicidal ideation is inevitable under those circumstances -- even if
you're NOT watching TV. I'd even take norteño over ice cream truck
music. Even with the tuba. I mean, it's basically polka/German beer hall music.

Plus tubas are actually kinda kooky & cool. (Spike Jones used them a lot.
No, not Spike Jonze. Spike Jones. "Der Führer's Face" & all those parody
songs with his full band.)