the cancer surgery (lobectomy, resection)
May. 1st, 2006 01:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
verushka70Well, Saturday morning they removed my mom's lower lobe of her Right lung, and removed a wedge of tissue in the upper R lobe. The pulmonary oncologist/surgeon said she is considered Stage 4 because there were two foci of cancer, most likely not metastasized one from the other. That scared the shit out of me. Stage 4 prognosis is... well, the prognosis is you'll be dead in less than 2 years.
I didn't tell my mom the surgeon said that. Why fucking ruin her hopes now. The surgeon would only talk in vague generalities. Wouldn't give numbers or odds. Said only "She's got a lot to fight with" meaning her health, up to the discovery of the nodules, was good; she has no other health problems, except GERD and high cholesteroal -- no COPD, no cardiac history, no coronary artery disease, no diabetes. Basically, for a 67 year old, she's only on Lipitor (high cholesterol) and Aciphex (GERD). And recently Ambien, so she can sleep through the night instead of laying awake in the dark thinking about cancer. That's so few drugs compared to the average 67 year old.
Fortunately, according to the surgeon, he thinks they got all the cancer. So he said, "Technically, she is now [air quotes] cancer free." But he did say that one of the lymph nodes was swollen and suspicious for involvement. All the others weren't, but they were all removed anyway as a preventive measure.
But she is in so much pain. The chest tubes are draining so much bloody drainage from her lung. And last night they were holding off on the pain meds because of the low blood pressure problem. So she's sitting there, holding a pillow to her side, telling me that her pain is a 5 on a scale of 0 (no pain) to 10 (worst imaginable pain). And me going, but that's too much pain... and her going "I can wait until they give me 2 Vicodin at 8pm." (It was 6:30pm when I saw her... another 1.5 hrs to go before the pain meds.)
They were supposed to move her from the ICU to a different unit on Sunday and they did not because her blood pressure was alarmingly low over Saturday night and early Sunday. Partly that's because she has low blood pressure anyway (120/80 or less, usually). And also because the opioid pain meds they were giving her (of course) lowered her BP and her breathing rate. But they said it was also because of the epidural they'd given her for pain. So they removed that. And they said it was also because of the fact that she lost a lot of blood volume. I'm thinking, SO GIVE HER A FUCKING TRANSFUSION already, then! But the doc said he'd rather not; told her to drink a lot of fluids. I guess the risks of transfusions outweigh the potential benefits. At least removing the epidural seemed to make her BP go up. In fact, when I left last night, her BP was elevated (for her). It was like 136/94, which is high for my mom.
Maybe they will move her today. I haven't been there yet today. I had a nursing club meeting at 9am, class 10am-12pm, and the computer workshop from 12:30-1:30pm (for which no one showed up, but which allowed me to get on LJ for a bit).
So it's all just moment by moment. I feel so frazzled, like I am pulled a thousand different directions. No focus. Don't know what to do first. There's a test in my pharmacology class Thursday; I haven't even studied. I tried reading for the GI test next Monday in Med/Surg III, and I kept reading the same paragraph over & over, retaining nothing. Finally I gave up around 11:30pm and put in my DVD of Layer Cake. I fell asleep during it and had to go to bed. Woke up at 6:30am (so NOT typical of me) and couldn't go back to sleep.
I hate this. I HATE this. I just can't fucking believe it. I better end this before I spew vitriol and go into the injustices of life, people like my uncle who get 5 bypasses & never change their life, never stop smoking/drinking/eating red meat and never get cancer, vs. people like my mom who cut out red meat, quit smoking, don't hardly drink & get cancer anyway. Fuck.
I didn't tell my mom the surgeon said that. Why fucking ruin her hopes now. The surgeon would only talk in vague generalities. Wouldn't give numbers or odds. Said only "She's got a lot to fight with" meaning her health, up to the discovery of the nodules, was good; she has no other health problems, except GERD and high cholesteroal -- no COPD, no cardiac history, no coronary artery disease, no diabetes. Basically, for a 67 year old, she's only on Lipitor (high cholesterol) and Aciphex (GERD). And recently Ambien, so she can sleep through the night instead of laying awake in the dark thinking about cancer. That's so few drugs compared to the average 67 year old.
Fortunately, according to the surgeon, he thinks they got all the cancer. So he said, "Technically, she is now [air quotes] cancer free." But he did say that one of the lymph nodes was swollen and suspicious for involvement. All the others weren't, but they were all removed anyway as a preventive measure.
But she is in so much pain. The chest tubes are draining so much bloody drainage from her lung. And last night they were holding off on the pain meds because of the low blood pressure problem. So she's sitting there, holding a pillow to her side, telling me that her pain is a 5 on a scale of 0 (no pain) to 10 (worst imaginable pain). And me going, but that's too much pain... and her going "I can wait until they give me 2 Vicodin at 8pm." (It was 6:30pm when I saw her... another 1.5 hrs to go before the pain meds.)
They were supposed to move her from the ICU to a different unit on Sunday and they did not because her blood pressure was alarmingly low over Saturday night and early Sunday. Partly that's because she has low blood pressure anyway (120/80 or less, usually). And also because the opioid pain meds they were giving her (of course) lowered her BP and her breathing rate. But they said it was also because of the epidural they'd given her for pain. So they removed that. And they said it was also because of the fact that she lost a lot of blood volume. I'm thinking, SO GIVE HER A FUCKING TRANSFUSION already, then! But the doc said he'd rather not; told her to drink a lot of fluids. I guess the risks of transfusions outweigh the potential benefits. At least removing the epidural seemed to make her BP go up. In fact, when I left last night, her BP was elevated (for her). It was like 136/94, which is high for my mom.
Maybe they will move her today. I haven't been there yet today. I had a nursing club meeting at 9am, class 10am-12pm, and the computer workshop from 12:30-1:30pm (for which no one showed up, but which allowed me to get on LJ for a bit).
So it's all just moment by moment. I feel so frazzled, like I am pulled a thousand different directions. No focus. Don't know what to do first. There's a test in my pharmacology class Thursday; I haven't even studied. I tried reading for the GI test next Monday in Med/Surg III, and I kept reading the same paragraph over & over, retaining nothing. Finally I gave up around 11:30pm and put in my DVD of Layer Cake. I fell asleep during it and had to go to bed. Woke up at 6:30am (so NOT typical of me) and couldn't go back to sleep.
I hate this. I HATE this. I just can't fucking believe it. I better end this before I spew vitriol and go into the injustices of life, people like my uncle who get 5 bypasses & never change their life, never stop smoking/drinking/eating red meat and never get cancer, vs. people like my mom who cut out red meat, quit smoking, don't hardly drink & get cancer anyway. Fuck.
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-01 07:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-01 10:03 pm (UTC)Thoughts
Date: 2006-06-09 01:20 am (UTC)I wish your mom all the best.
Believe
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2006-06-09 07:58 pm (UTC)Thanks again.