verushka70: Kowalski puts his hands to his head (Default)
[personal profile] verushka70
So I am having this email correspondence with a friend of mine, lamenting the way my anti-depressants have deep-sixed my libido and sexual response.

My friend (let's call him "Steve") (although his real name is Reginald Archibald Hinglethwick and he lives at... kidding, just kidding!) argues that this (libido killed by meds) is not really the case, that I'm merely tired of "known dick" (my term) or "old dick" (his term), and that if I simply found "unknown dick" (my term) or "new dick" (his term), my libido would be magically resurrected.

Uhm, well, that actually happened while I was broken up w/my bf for a couple months over the summer. I briefly gadded about (mostly horizontally) with a new lover. And there was much rejoicing. Much. Very much. Yay!



Well, when we got back together & tried to work it out, my bf (let's call him, oh, Guillermo, because he reminds me of that character on Moonlight) -- "Guillermo" was highly offended when I told him "I just can't get it up for you anymore."

(While I would agree if anyone said that was a very harsh way to break it to him, it's important to note that "Guillermo" himself suggested that my sexual desire for him & level of sexual attraction to him were next to nil, nada, nothing because he hadn't been treating me "all that well." Uhm. Ya think?)

(Actually, I think what bothered him the most was that I, a woman, was telling him, the man, that I couldn't "get it up" for him. The son of immigrants, first generation, first one to finish college... oh, he understood the meaning, but I do lack a penis and it's a penis analogy... So, yeah, that didn't go over too well with "Guillermo."

OTOH at least he could admit he hadn't been treating me "all that well." We've both been pretty harsh to each other off and on over the years. And I know I'm sorry about that, and I know he is too. It's almost like we're married. If we had been married, though, I'd be the one paying alimony because I make a lot more money than he does. Which also doesn't go over very well. Eh, we've both had a lot of bad shit happen to us individually over the last several years. Hence the harshness, I guess. External pressures don't do wonders for intimate relationships, that's for sure.)



So when I mused, to my friend "Steve," about how my libido woke like Sleeping Beauty for the guy with whom I had my brief six week fling over the summer, "Steve" responded:

I assume that "known dick" thing is why guys like [gay friend of ours] like a fresh dick almost every time. Certainly it's the reason men fuck other women aside from their women at home, so I don't find it either shocking or unusual that you would be going through this now.

Maybe you just need a reasonably steady relationship with a new guy and when you don't care about sex with him, start doing other dudes, in addition to him.

It's that whole jealousy/fighting thing that does it for [people]. Nobody wants to fuck anybody nobody else wants to fuck!"


I read that, and thought, Nobody wants to fuck anybody nobody else wants to fuck... omg, that is perfect, it is so true, and it so brutally explains male/female dating and mating and hating and berating (to quote Matt Groening's "Life In Hell" cartoon from MANY years before The Simpsons).

Nobody wants to fuck anybody nobody else wants to fuck trumps He's just not that into you. imho.

Date: 2009-02-10 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] euphoricagony.livejournal.com
This post totally made me laugh! You've got some good points here. :D

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verushka70: Kowalski puts his hands to his head (Default)
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