verushka70

It's rhetorical, really. Because I'm on the max dose of Wellbutrin XL already & Buspar 10 mg 2 x day. But it's not working. I got sent home (sent home!) from work Thursday by my boss because I looked "terrible." (Gee, thanks...) And I'm back where I was physically (physiologically?) a year ago: pure exhaustion, all the time, don't want to go out, don't want to see people, dragging myself through the bare minimum of what I have to do to get through the day and get through work. (Except last summer it was school.) It's like lead weight, weighing my arms & legs down... but also with the pain and soreness like I've walked ten miles (and I haven't). It can't be PMS -- unless it's month-long PMS now-- because I was "MS-ing" a week & a half ago. I don't know what is wrong with me. I guess it is all the stress hitting me like a ton of bricks (now that my mom is better, fortunately) -- but, christ, I am barely functional. I have a story to finish, another to begin, a vid I want to try... and I come home from work and all I can do is lay on the couch or my bed and watch TV. Not even my favorite shows, just whatever is on. (So not like me.) I can't even get up the mental energy to read a frakkin' book. If I could just tweak the right cocktail of Rx and OTC drugs, I'm sure I'd be able to accomplish more. Alas, that requires health insurance... which I don't currently have. I get the $4 generic Buspar (buspirone) from Wal-Mart (and I said I'd never shop there...) and I'm on the GlaxoSmithKline patient assistance program for the Wellbutrin XL (which isn't available generically). If I could just supplement with some Adderall (for focus) and klonopin or Ativan (for anxiety) in addition to the Wellbutrin/Buspar, I think I'd get more done and feel like less of a loser. Sigh.