verushka70

Oh hon, you've had a series of shocks, and I think you're processing it all very well. You make some excellent points about the realities of mental illness: "normal" is a category that should not and does not apply to you.

Not that that label applies to anyone I have ever met, or anyone in my family or circle of friends, or my teachers or coworkers or people I know online. It's a bullshit arbitrary standard, and the fact that you feel like you aren't measuring up to this impossible imaginary standard for so many years is an incredible wrong. You're a wonderful person and you've done an amazing job dealing with crippling with psychological issues and real-life tragedies that would send most of us screaming in the other direction.

I know it's painful to end a relationship, but I think you made the right decision. The way he spoke to you and the way he's made you feel about yourself is not the way you deserve to be treated. You're not a burden, and you're not "high maintenance," and you deserve a partner who treats you like a human being dealing with a serious disability that impairs their ability to function. If you were paralysed and your boyfriend made huffy noises about having been inconvenienced by your condition, he'd be a clear-cut jerk. I know it puts a strain on the people who love you to see you unhappy (as it should, if they love you) but man, I can't get over his passive-aggressive comments and the way he deliberately set out to make you feel like shit. I think you're much better off without someone that negative in your life.

Anyway, I send you *hugs* and best wishes and my support in what you're going through. You're a lovely person and you deserve much better, and you will get there someday. Your life may not look the way you expect, but there are going to be changes and surprises and improvements along the way. I promise. *hugs and hugs*