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Re: dead: Joseph Scoren
Date: 2008-01-02 01:40 pm (UTC)As far as being a "survivor" is concerned, apparently it doesn't matter if we talked the (suicidally depressed) talk; when it comes to the walk, we're still here, and we want to be! You, at least, mention all the things you didn't do yet (although finishing nursing school sounds like a terrific achievement to me) - like learning foreign languages and travelling. Me, when I become frightened of death, and cling to life, it's because I don't want to miss the new season of my favorite TV shows! Not kidding. When I get scared of death, that's the little tiny kind of thing I latch on to, that makes me want to live so fiercely!
I'm 67 years old, now, and I surely don't want to end up in a nursing home (but that's better than dying of cancer!). It is a bit too late for me to start eating healthy and exercising! But as far as cancer goes, it seems to me that I could more easily choose "death by cop" than find a way to avoid "death by cancer," if that's in my genetic cards. Neither is a "lifestyle choice," for me. Cancer just happens.
And - as you can see by my situation - finding and hanging on to the right (or even the wrong) man doesn't help! My Hannes, with whom I've been for 33 years, ups and dies on me at age 61, and there goes my cozy future, toddling into old age with my lifetime companion!
Yeah, we survive. We continue to survive. And that's good. Because the strength we embody gives itself to others, even if we don't know it. A few words in a story, a comment to an acquaintance in passing - these can turn the tide of a life, make somebody think, make somebody's life *better,* even if we don't realize we've done that. I truly believe that, and moreso for a nurse whose whole life is dedicated to helping the next guy just when she needs the help....
Verushka, I've missed you. Be well. May 2008 be a happier year than this last one, for everyone, but especially for you, old friend!
Love ya, max
maxmayer2@JUNO.com
http://members.tripod.com/~MaxineMayer/index.htm