my headcanon of Fraser, Part 1 - with illustrating GIFs - for ds30below Week 3 (Fannish Fifty #14)

So I posted on Tumblr about my headcanon on Fraser - with GIFs to illustrate.

Doing the same here because I can't find a way to just import the Tumblr posts to DW... argh.

My headcanon of Fraser is based on canon. But it's a canon we're not often shown - which is a shame, because it simultaneously knocks Fraser off the pedestal and totally humanizes him.

I love this entire scene from the pilot. I am fascinated with Fraser's growing, barely contained, righteous anger. The way he's breathing SO HARD you can see the rise and fall of his chest.

( the rest of the GIFs are under the cut )

Fraser’s anger - my headcanon of Fraser, Part 2 - for ds30below Week 3 (Fannish Fifty #15)

More GIFs to illustrate my fascination and headcanon!


( more GIFs under the cut )

This is why the perfect, polite, well-mannered Thank-you-kindly canon Fraser of dS feels… a bit “off,” to me. There is anger in Fraser. He has the clear potential to do bad things to bad people (who, let’s face it, completely deserve it, plus more).

I love this Fraser. This is my head-canon Fraser. He has suffered loss after loss (shall we talk about his ACE score? it would be kind of high, don’t you think?), starting very young. He appears fine on the surface, but let’s not forget that (absurd) psychological test with the Rorschach images in S3 episode Strange Bedfellows. He is not okay. He’s not fine. His psychological state is eventually deemed “acceptable” in that ep - but, c'mon: “acceptable” is not exactly well-adjusted or healthy. “Acceptable” is like getting a C on a paper when you should have gotten an A or at least a B.

And ftr, of course he is not okay! That’s completely understandable given his history: an adult man who lost his mother at age 6, was subsequently abandoned by his grief-stricken father (a child does not understand why a parent leaves/is gone - only that they left), whose entire life is uprooted to move to live with his grandparents (and let’s just point out that his grandmother’s ghost slaps Fraser, Sr - who is himself a ghost - in Letting Go! if you presume that, like most grandparents, she mellowed with age, and that is the mellower version of her - what was she like with child!Fraser??)… the constant moving/losing friends/having to make new friends/being the new kid because they were mobile librarians…

That is all canon. But there is never any canonical mention of therapy or counseling, which a kid with such a background (or his adult self) would surely need to process the many traumatic changes he experienced at such a young age, and develop some healthy coping mechanisms (because the ones you sort of fall into as a child - I certainly wouldn’t call it “choosing” when as a kid, all you’re trying to do is find a way to cope that WORKS - aren’t usually the healthiest in a set of circumstances this bad.

Then, in his early adulthood and RCMP career… the Victoria thing happens. Of course Fraser is not okay. (And that is okay.) How on earth could he be?

Fraser pulls himself back - my headcanon of Fraser, Part 3 for ds30below Week 3 (Fannish Fifty #16)

So, with difficulty, here we see Fraser pull himself back from the edge. Look at his visible hard swallow. Look at his hand beginning to shake as it holds the gun in Gerard’s face.

( more GIFs of angry, angsty Fraser )

Fraser is mad as hell. (Excellent physicality of the emotion by PG, too, btw!)

Sure, some people will argue, “Well, he was severely provoked, and he pulled himself back from doing something stupid and violent.”

True. But. If he were 100% well-adjusted - like he acts for most of the rest of the series, like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth - would he ever have drawn his gun in the first place?

I love angry, hurting, messed up Fraser. I just love him to bits and I long ago lost any ability to remove that headcanon from my mind, unless I’m writing a pinch hit for a very specific prompt or Secret Santa author letter with parameters very unlike my own, in which case I compartmentalize, and put myself in the shoes and headspace of the recipient, and see Fraser their way.

But in my own imaginings and headcanon - Fraser is pretty emotionally messed up. He’s doing the best that he can, of course. And, all things considered, his best is pretty good. (I’m not suggesting his grandparents were completely terrible surrogate parents, by any means. But. His late grandmother slaps her late adult son - which Fraser doesn’t even see; only Fraser Sr. sees/experiences that; that is canon.)

And while it is completely understandable that Fraser would be pretty messed up emotionally/relationship-wise, of course it would definitely have repercussions in his adult life and relationships.

I’m just saying.

And I love messed up Fraser. Love him. He is my favorite version of Fraser because it makes him so human, and not a Mountie superhero at all.

~ ~ ~

Finally, I reblogged Syrup Map's excellent Tumblr post - with GIFs of Fraser being mean to Gerard! go look! - from Bird in the Hand, and added:

And then there’s this.

To paraphrase Hannibal, “Doing bad things to bad people feels right.”

So Fraser lets a little of his anger out of its cage.