verushka70 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
verushka70) wrote2024-03-31 10:39 pm
verushka70) wrote2024-03-31 10:39 pm
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Fraser pulls himself back - my headcanon of Fraser, Part 3 for ds30below Week 3 (Fannish Fifty #16)
So, with difficulty, here we see Fraser pull himself back from the edge. Look at his visible hard swallow. Look at his hand beginning to shake as it holds the gun in Gerard’s face.
Look at the shine of tears in his eyes, the shutting of his eyes as if to stop seeing what he is seeing (the man responsible for his father’s death).
The way he works his lips, tongue, teeth in the last GIF. Still breathing very hard.
Fraser is mad as hell. (Excellent physicality of the emotion by PG, too, btw!)
Sure, some people will argue, “Well, he was severely provoked, and he pulled himself back from doing something stupid and violent.”
True. But. If he were 100% well-adjusted - like he acts for most of the rest of the series, like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth - would he ever have drawn his gun in the first place?
I love angry, hurting, messed up Fraser. I just love him to bits and I long ago lost any ability to remove that headcanon from my mind, unless I’m writing a pinch hit for a very specific prompt or Secret Santa author letter with parameters very unlike my own, in which case I compartmentalize, and put myself in the shoes and headspace of the recipient, and see Fraser their way.
But in my own imaginings and headcanon - Fraser is pretty emotionally messed up. He’s doing the best that he can, of course. And, all things considered, his best is pretty good. (I’m not suggesting his grandparents were completely terrible surrogate parents, by any means. But. His late grandmother slaps her late adult son - which Fraser doesn’t even see; only Fraser Sr. sees/experiences that; that is canon.)
And while it is completely understandable that Fraser would be pretty messed up emotionally/relationship-wise, of course it would definitely have repercussions in his adult life and relationships.
I’m just saying.
And I love messed up Fraser. Love him. He is my favorite version of Fraser because it makes him so human, and not a Mountie superhero at all.
~ ~ ~
Finally, I reblogged Syrup Map's excellent Tumblr post - with GIFs of Fraser being mean to Gerard! go look! - from Bird in the Hand, and added:
And then there’s this.
To paraphrase Hannibal, “Doing bad things to bad people feels right.”
So Fraser lets a little of his anger out of its cage.
Look at the shine of tears in his eyes, the shutting of his eyes as if to stop seeing what he is seeing (the man responsible for his father’s death).
The way he works his lips, tongue, teeth in the last GIF. Still breathing very hard.
Fraser is mad as hell. (Excellent physicality of the emotion by PG, too, btw!)
Sure, some people will argue, “Well, he was severely provoked, and he pulled himself back from doing something stupid and violent.”
True. But. If he were 100% well-adjusted - like he acts for most of the rest of the series, like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth - would he ever have drawn his gun in the first place?
I love angry, hurting, messed up Fraser. I just love him to bits and I long ago lost any ability to remove that headcanon from my mind, unless I’m writing a pinch hit for a very specific prompt or Secret Santa author letter with parameters very unlike my own, in which case I compartmentalize, and put myself in the shoes and headspace of the recipient, and see Fraser their way.
But in my own imaginings and headcanon - Fraser is pretty emotionally messed up. He’s doing the best that he can, of course. And, all things considered, his best is pretty good. (I’m not suggesting his grandparents were completely terrible surrogate parents, by any means. But. His late grandmother slaps her late adult son - which Fraser doesn’t even see; only Fraser Sr. sees/experiences that; that is canon.)
And while it is completely understandable that Fraser would be pretty messed up emotionally/relationship-wise, of course it would definitely have repercussions in his adult life and relationships.
I’m just saying.
And I love messed up Fraser. Love him. He is my favorite version of Fraser because it makes him so human, and not a Mountie superhero at all.
~ ~ ~
Finally, I reblogged Syrup Map's excellent Tumblr post - with GIFs of Fraser being mean to Gerard! go look! - from Bird in the Hand, and added:
And then there’s this.
To paraphrase Hannibal, “Doing bad things to bad people feels right.”
So Fraser lets a little of his anger out of its cage.
no subject
Now, at this point Fraser was probably used to Vecchio's more aggressive American-ness, so it may have just felt like a normal thing for Vecchio to offer, that he didn't have to take seriously. And your parents can trigger you in ways your friends/lovers can't, and Fraser's Dad is a whole other kettle of emotional issues. But the fact that Robert was asking that AFTER Fraser already got up to that line and decided not to use force would be an extra stressor. Like, why even HAVE a moral code?? Fraser's out there trying to keep a lid on his anger and he's constantly being baited.
(It just occurs to me that maybe in the pilot, he was still used to having his service weapon and being allowed to use it in reasonable circumstances [although I'm sure he rarely, if ever, did], but by the time Gerrard comes back, he's been in the States long enough that he's gotten used to NOT having his weapon. IDK if that means anything.)
ALSO I think one of the reasons Fraser clings to the rules so much is for reasons like this. He's not actually a strictly by-the-books-cop, he'll bend the rules when he needs to, but I think he respects rules so much because he fears his own emotions. Easier to just choose a set of rules to live by, no matter what, than have to unpack everything in the moment.
ALSO ALSO I really love and miss those convertible mitten gloves and I'm put out that I can't find any anymore. The last time I watched the pilot I went scouring the Mountain Equipment Co-op website to no avail. All the convertible gloves are way too tactical now. I'm not some maniac who climbs mountains in the winter, I just sometimes want to read a book outside! SOB.
no subject
This:
"He's not actually a strictly by-the-books-cop, he'll bend the rules when he needs to, but I think he respects rules so much because he fears his own emotions. Easier to just choose a set of rules to live by, no matter what, than have to unpack everything in the moment."
...is SPOT ON!
Yeah I had a pair of those a while back, too, but I lost one... & haven't been able to find them since either. Like you say, they're still tactical now... I just want some fingerless wool gloves that can flip over into mittens if need be!