verushka70 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
verushka70) wrote2009-08-04 01:00 am
verushka70) wrote2009-08-04 01:00 am
the cat has basal cell carcinoma
So the biopsy results came back for my littlest cat who had surgery last Thursday. The growth was a basal cell carcinoma. It is malignant, the vet said, but supposedly it has a low probability of metastasizing. And the vet said the biopsy result said the margins were clean -- meaning no little cancerous cells sliced in half, leaving some behind in Kako. And all we need to do at this pont, per the vet, is "watch it." No chemo. Thank god for that.
She's got about 12 stitches -- doesn't like me checking them -- they are in her left armpit, so it's an awkward spot, and I can tell her left leg has been sore the past few days, because she wasn't jumping up on all her usual perches around the house since I brought her home from the vet, post-surgery, on Friday.
However, she did climb and jump all the way to the top of the tallest cat tree today, which means she must be feeling better; it's about as tall as the bookcase nearby that comes up to my forehead. Her stitches come out 8/10/09. I just ... I can't believe it's cancer. I mean, my mom's official cause of death was lung cancer (realistically, though, I think it was a pulmonary embolism -- but of course she was at greater risk of that than the average person because of her cancer). My step-dad died of prostate cancer that metastasized to his liver, and when his liver started giving out, he went fast. We only had him in the hospital bed in the living room for four days, and then he was gone. Four days.
Watched Into the Wild w/my bf tonight. It left me tearful. I don't know if it was the movie itself, or all the accumulated sadness of life lately, my mom's death, my cat's carcinoma, with the movie like some miserable whip cream and cherry on top... but after my bf went home, I wept through washing the dishes. I'm out of Xanax -- been out of it for over 2 weeks -- but I feel fairly certain that having the Xanax wouldn't change anything. It would just make me more like a walking dead person, feeling nothing. I'm not sure which is worse -- the sadness or the numbness. But I just don't see the point of procrastinating the sadness, which is all I think the tranquilizers would do. Well, that and get me through things, I guess.
She's got about 12 stitches -- doesn't like me checking them -- they are in her left armpit, so it's an awkward spot, and I can tell her left leg has been sore the past few days, because she wasn't jumping up on all her usual perches around the house since I brought her home from the vet, post-surgery, on Friday.
However, she did climb and jump all the way to the top of the tallest cat tree today, which means she must be feeling better; it's about as tall as the bookcase nearby that comes up to my forehead. Her stitches come out 8/10/09. I just ... I can't believe it's cancer. I mean, my mom's official cause of death was lung cancer (realistically, though, I think it was a pulmonary embolism -- but of course she was at greater risk of that than the average person because of her cancer). My step-dad died of prostate cancer that metastasized to his liver, and when his liver started giving out, he went fast. We only had him in the hospital bed in the living room for four days, and then he was gone. Four days.
Watched Into the Wild w/my bf tonight. It left me tearful. I don't know if it was the movie itself, or all the accumulated sadness of life lately, my mom's death, my cat's carcinoma, with the movie like some miserable whip cream and cherry on top... but after my bf went home, I wept through washing the dishes. I'm out of Xanax -- been out of it for over 2 weeks -- but I feel fairly certain that having the Xanax wouldn't change anything. It would just make me more like a walking dead person, feeling nothing. I'm not sure which is worse -- the sadness or the numbness. But I just don't see the point of procrastinating the sadness, which is all I think the tranquilizers would do. Well, that and get me through things, I guess.
no subject
You just need to give yourself time, and space, and go easy on yourself.
*hugs*
no subject
Thanks.