verushka70: S4E1 screen cap Henry holds Walt down (holds-Walt-down)
Fandom-wise, I was not very active in 2016, but that's nothing new despite ongoing OT/PT for carpal tunnel and lateral epicondylitis since October. I managed some fic scattered across different fandoms. While I didn't finish the WIPs I wantedto finish, I finished a couple old ones, and with my lowered expectations for myself this past year, I am okay with that. I am surprised I wrote as much as I did. So, yay.

Population: 3 minus 1
Fandoms: Longmire (TV)
Words: 9,317
M/M, F/M/M
Tags: Walt Longmire/Henry Standing Bear, Martha Longmire/Walt Longmire/Henry Standing Bear, Long-Term Relationship(s), Grief/Mourning, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, Slow Build, OTP Feels, Threesome - F/M/M, Angst and Porn

Henry thought back to Walt silently drinking, his gaze a weight that repeatedly drew Henry's attention until the rest of the bar faded away, as if their stares at each other were the only thing in the world.

~ ~ ~

Breath and Blood for MK_Yujji (due South Seekrit Santa 2016)
Fandoms: due South
Words: 14,048
M/M, F/M
Tags: Teen And Up Audiences, Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski, Benton Fraser/Victoria Metcalf, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements

Fraser seems to casually endanger his partners in wildly bizarre ways, as if he's bullet-proof &/or wearing a cape. Kowalski may have figured out why -- and also why Fraser doesn't always come out unscathed.

~ ~ ~

OMG, why aren't more people watching Longmire? I get that instead of a chronic low grade ongoing slashiness in every ep, Longmire instead has chronic barely-there slash with sudden spectacular eruptions in particularly slashy eps. But shows with less slashiness have garnered bigger slash fandoms. Maybe it is because both male leads are over 45 (or 50) years old and both have some gray hair, including gray chest hair on one of them? (and kudos for NOT waxing, dyeing, or weaving it!!) because the Tumblr crowd skews so young that old dudes are probably considered skeezy? I don't know. But ageism is alive and well in so many other areas of life and society, why not this one, too.
verushka70: S4E1 Walt alone silhouette wearing hat and holding shotgun (CKR's hand)
I had this weird feeling there was something in my LJ I forgot to do for like the last few weeks but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Well, I realized I forgot to put here some snippets I originally wrote for [ profile] ds_snippets. (I like to keep my own copies in my own LJS of stuff submitted on other comms.) It's all slash. ETA: When I first posted this, I myself forgot the last two were DC/HCL, not DC/DS. *headdesk* Not firing on all cylinders. And this is BEFORE any Xanax today. *sigh* OTOH, maybe it's just my subconscious telling me to write DC/DS Mike Sweeney/RayK. Like I didn't have enough going on with [ profile] ficfinishing!

Snippet 1:
Title: Necessary Velocity
Fandom and Pairing: HCL, Joe/Billy
Rating: NC-17
Length: 283 words
Prompt: One hundred-eight – momentum, velocity, gravity, inertia, torsion

. . .when he's exhausted like this, Joe rolls with just about anything. )

Snippet 2:
Title: Zero to Sixty in Half a Sec
Fandom and Pairing: HCL/Durham County, Billy Tallent/Mike Sweeney
Rating: R
Length: 294 words
Prompt: along the brittle treacherous bright streets
of memory comes my heart, singing like
an idiot,whispering like a drunken man

(e.e. cummings)

Jenifur, collectively, prefer individual rooms. This suits Billy just fine. )
Snippet 3:
Title: All Bite
Fandom and Pairing: HCL/Durham County, Billy Tallent/Mike Sweeney
Rating: NC-17
Length: 300 words
Prompt: along the brittle treacherous bright streets
of memory comes my heart, singing like
an idiot,whispering like a drunken man

(e.e. cummings)

He just nods, dazed, feeling drugged, though he's years clean and sober. )
verushka70: S4E1 Walt alone silhouette wearing hat and holding shotgun (Billy's hand on Joe)
I meant to get these in on time for the [ profile] ds_snippets amnesty challenge, but for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, that didn't happen. So... bummer. So... they're here instead. Made possible by [ profile] akamine_chan, who graciously beta-ed.

they stood together--DS, G, gen, 265 words )

a huntress--DS, G, gen, 257 words )

return the favor/bitter reward--HCL/FTWHTWD, Joe/Jerry, NC-17, 277 words )
verushka70: S4E1 Walt alone silhouette wearing hat and holding shotgun (hands and Fraser)
...but I fucked up the cut tag html, initially, lopping off the first several lines... note to self: do not post fic while under the influence of Zanaflex when your eyes keep falling shut. Luckily, it seems to have worked even without those lines *headdesk* and got positive feedback anyway. (I am such a bonehead. sigh.)

And now I must jump in the shower & head off to work another night shift. Not enough time to reply to all the fb... that will come tomorrow AM after I get home. *heart swells* DS fans are so sweet.

ETA: I am *so* duhhhhh... I didn't even include a link to the snippet! D'oh!
verushka70: S4E1 Walt alone silhouette wearing hat and holding shotgun (Default)
Even though I missed signing up for Team Angst (which, if there were ever a team I was made for, it would be an angst team...), I wrote a drabble for their drabble tree anyway. But I didn't post it there. I think you're only supposed to post there if you're on the team, which I am not, sadly.

In response to where lights only burn in the rooms of the dying, which was spawned by [ profile] nos4a2no9's "The Nightrunner" beginning riff I wrote what's below. Of course, it's not beta-ed, and there are grammatical problems. But, then, I guess that's the point of the drabble as writing exercise. So I exercised.

* * *

That overwhelming sense of failure had only increased upon finding himself flat on his back in a hospital bed, the antiseptic smell not only surrounding him, but becoming part of him and frightening him. Fraser's voyeuristic witnessing of Dr. Carter's romantic betrayal had sounded to its depths the deep well of his own sense of betrayal -- not Victoria's betrayal, but even more wrenchingly, his betrayal of himself.

Somehow, helping prevent a more murderous ending that would otherwise doubtless have occurred after witnessing Dr. Carter's unraveling did not ease his conscience. The first major obstacle to that was Ray's injury. But even witnessing Dr. Carter breaking down did not help Fraser forgive himself for his wretched ambivalence, his failure to draw a line within himself over which he would not step, no matter how badly he wanted to, because it was wrong. Even as he'd seen it in Dr. Carter, pointing a revolver at her young blackmailing lover, he had wanted to believe that he was somehow different from her, that that sort of reckless abandon, that sort of tidal emotionalism, wasn't also in himself.

At first, he'd imagined her rage like Victoria's: revenge, pure and simple, on the lover who betrayed her. But then Ray had reminded him: Benny, not every woman with long, dark hair tries to kill her lover. And then when he heard Dr. Carter speaking bitterly to her lover, describing the piecemeal tearing down of her heart -- it was as if that ache within himself, that down-to-the-bone pain, connected through the ethers to Dr. Carter's.

It was then that Fraser had understood Dr. Carter to be not like Victoria, but like himself. It was then that he had realized his furious pursuit of Victoria through the train station had not been motivated by the dictum "maintain the right" or any other sense of justice, ethics or morals. It was then that he realized he'd never thought far enough ahead as to what exactly he would do with Victoria when he caught her.
Read more... )
verushka70: S4E1 Walt alone silhouette wearing hat and holding shotgun (icbad)
Well, I finally porned for the porn battle. Only ONE porn -- how pathetic. What can I say; I was enjoying my last few days of school break before the onslaught of the last semester of nursing school begins.

My tiny skirmish in the porn battle is:

Title: Everything
Fandom: Due South
Prompt: RayK/Fraser, jealousy
Note: angsty, NC-17

It was originally part of a much, much longer RayV/Fraser/RayK love triangle story I started years ago & never finished. It was equal opportunity angst-ing for all three of them: sad sex, angry sex, makeup sex, competitive sex -- sexual tug of war with Fraser as the rope. I'll probably never finish it. I carved it down to 4300 characters for the porn battle. Christ, that's not much. I can't do anything in 4300 characters! I'd barely get started, and then I'd have to finish. That's why I ended up excerpting from an old story.
verushka70: S4E1 Walt alone silhouette wearing hat and holding shotgun (hookah)
Having read all these comments re: Tight, I can only say: Thank you all SO very MUCH. If I had the time to reply individually, right now, I would... unfortunately, a good friend (of 20+ years) lost his mother yesterday, so I have not been home much the last 24 hours...Read more... )
verushka70: S4E1 Walt alone silhouette wearing hat and holding shotgun (hookah)
Well. I finally updated a version of a story I wrote five freakin' years ago. I re-edited it to submit to the Writer's Contest for Zebracon 17. Which I barely attended because I was so damn busy with school (I just visited the dealer's room, and that was about it). (As I horribly was this past weekend). I was shocked as hell when I won 1st place! But then, I don't even know if people look at the DSA anymore. I've been so out of it for so long. And no one is reading this blog, anyway... it's more for me than for public consumption. I've been a diarist since, like, age 9... and I do tend to talk to myself, to think aloud.

The DSA Squidge archivist was so kind as to remove myold story and let me upload the newer version. I may yet get back into the swing of things, writing fanfic. I know Due South is dead and only had three seasons... but... but... it was such a great show. And so... inspiring of slash. Not that other shows aren't or weren't. And, hey, slash isn't all I want... smoldering, fucked-up impossible love (Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Spike) is always good. So is great UST ala Scully/Mulder. Angst, tension: bring it on.

But also, the funny shows. The weird shows. Dead Like Me. Lexx. I'm even considering writing something really obscure (as long as no one is looking, what difference does it make?): a Hard Core Logo/For Those Who Hunt The Wounded Down Joe Dick/Jerry Bines xover. I mean, no one will want to read this except someone from --but it's a challenge, and I've decided to set it during the time that Billy left and Joe was doing "some acoustic gigs" (or nothing, depending on whether you found his statement believable). I'm going to try to write that over xmas vacation. Which starts Dec. 13 for me and goes until Jan. 17. One blissful month to decompress from the hell of nursing school.
Read more... )
verushka70: S4E1 Walt alone silhouette wearing hat and holding shotgun (Default)

One would think that by sharing my feelings -- although that was unintentional, and they only erupted out of me at his suggestion that we take the class -- one would think that sharing my feelings would have eased my burden somewhat.

But no. Instead, I've managed only to spread my doubts and fears to Ray, and soured things between us.

How I wish that I could undo the last month or so.

No, that's not entirely true. I wish that I could... could either remove the side of me that enjoys Ray's submission to me, or remove the weight of doubt, fear and guilt I carry because I know that there is such a side of myself.

I honestly don't know which I'd prefer to get rid of most: the weight of my emotions about that side of me, or that side of me itself. But if I can not do the former, then I must do the latter. I can't allow my internal problems to negatively affect Ray. It isn't fair, it isn't his fault... and he is essentially innocent in this.

It's true, I would never have had the nerve to go down this path without his... desire that we explore it. But he would not have encouraged me or been so enthusiastic, if he felt as bad about it as I do. Or if he'd known that that was how I felt, when I was away from him and... it.

Read more... )


verushka70: S4E1 Walt alone silhouette wearing hat and holding shotgun (Default)

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